5 Reasons to Be Less Worried About Robots Taking Over

Suave, dependable robots may have the edge when it comes to first impressions, but when things start to get a little more serious, you quickly regain your advantage. For example, when it's time to meet the parents. Sure, your mom's a little nuts with the owl collectibles and your dad might make her listen to his favorite Winger track on repeat -- but his dad is an optical sensor and his mom works inside a coffeemaker. Not much of a Thanksgiving at that house.

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"She's a barista? How dare you insult your mother by bringing her into our home!"

You've also got a leg up when it's time to meet her family. You're a funny, affable sort of guy. You can bond with dad over his newly discovered affinity for microbrews or crack her sister up with your Carrot Top impression. Hell -- you can do impressions. All he's got in his arsenal is an imitation of a top-of-the-line toaster.

Basically, when you get right down to it, you've got style, wit, and charm. He has an operating system. Remember: It's called personality for a reason. You've got one. He doesn't.

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"So I told the printer, '000110001110000!' ... Guess you had to be there."

People who say they want to hear the truth often really just want to hear what will make them feel better. You know that, because you're human and have feelings. Robots don't -- which is why they don't know that, sometimes, little half-truths actually help protect people's feelings. "Yes, your speech was brilliant! Mmm, this ... food item ... is delicious! Of course I share your interest in Division 1 baseball!" In the end, little lies like these (and not the other, bigger kind) give you the definitive edge over your robot counterpart.

Of course, if for some reason it doesn't, you can always imply he's been messing around with Siri, "interfacing" with that saucy GPS lady, or just "lose" his charger -- all's fair in robot love and war.

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You can also order some sexy phone cases and have them shipped to his place.

For optimal function, most robots need pretty specific conditions. A dry, dust-free atmosphere and dark, chilly indoor spaces are ideal. You, on the other hand, are highly adaptable to almost any environment and can tolerate a wide range of conditions. You can hang out in a bowling alley, stand as close as you damn well want to a microwave, or sit outside in the beating sun for hours without so much as demagnetizing a credit card.

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"Can you cover my dinner? I did it again."
"Start carrying cash!"

The real ace in your hole, though, is one that can't really be matched by any machine -- your consistent body temperature and live, warm, fleshy body.

Try as you might to convince us otherwise, Hollywood, but we're pretty sure that deep down, nobody really wants to snuggle with a guy made of impenetrable synthetic fibers and an icy metal endoskeleton on a cold winter's night. You might be a little paunchy, but at the end of the day, a warm hug from an authentic human, love handles and all, can be pretty comforting. Advantage? Once again, it goes to you, with your sweat-producing, super-bad, body-heat-generating self. So go ahead and get cozy with your girl the way no machine can -- just remember the Old Spice.