10 Cracked Posts You Deemed Awesome Last Week - 3/26

10

5 Reasons Batman Always Wins

Think Batman can't handle Superman? Please. Batman had a quickdraw contest with what was essentially a god, and shot him dead.

"Don't pretend Batman can outdraw a beam of light but can't save Two-Face from falling off a ledge. The truth is, he just didn't care to."

9

5 Well-Known Tips for Healthy Eating (That Don't Work)

Drinking diet soda is like playing weight loss on hard mode.

"While you may think you're helping out your diet by allowing yourself some low-calorie (but still sweet) alternatives, chances are you're actually screwing over your waistline in the long run."

8

6 Crackpot Conspiracy Theories (That Actually Happened)

Metallics were back this year at Fashion Week. So now your tin foil hat provides ample safety AND style!

7

5 Women Cut from Pop Culture History for Being Too Important

Sister Rosetta Tharpe was rock as f*@K.

"Even though she sang gospel music, the religious establishment didn't understand her -- but teenagers did, making her one of the first musical super stars."

6

If Product Packaging Had To Tell The Terrifying Truth

As if the romanticized portrayal of antebellum plantation life wasn't insulting enough.

5

6 Ways 'Frozen' Teaches You What Depression Is Like

"I'll just cut right to the quick here: Elsa's gloves are a symbol for her dependence on antidepressants."

"Her parents literally use the phrase 'Conceal, don't feel,' as if her suffering is some kind of twisted Mother Goose rhyme. It's like trying to prevent suicide by chanting 'Fun, not gun.'"

4

How Zack Snyder Gets The Modern Superman Wrong

The movie really should have been called "Zack Snyder v Superman"

3

5 (Statistically BS) Complaints About Social Justice Issues

The hardy-har in-your-face-ery of the #TheTriggering is sort of pointless. In a National Coalition Against Censorship survey, fewer than 1 percent had any experience with Trigger Warnings in college classrooms at all.

"The best way to deal with this Trigger Warning epidemic is to stop getting so upset whenever you hear about Trigger Warnings."

2

10 Simple Facts To Make You Feel Better About This Election

The values of someone who grew up in Mississippi will probably be downright repulsive to someone who grew up in San Francisco and vice-versa. It would be weird if they weren't.

1

5 Reasons It's Difficult To Explain Racism To Casual Racists

If you think that there's a slur for white people that's as oppressively powerful as the N-word, well, you need to learn a few things.

"People have a lot of interesting excuses when they're caught being racist. Why do they tell these obvious, transparent lies? Do they think you're that dumb? Maybe. But maybe they aren't lies at all."