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If you begin receiving suspicious emails from a gorgeous athlete about needing donations for new tassels for the 2014 Winter Olympics, consult this list immediately.
We've talked before about creepy animals that do human things, seemingly for the explicit purpose of casting doubt on our belief in a sane, non-fractured universe. These three animals taught themselves how to speak, ensuring that you remain troubled for the foreseeable future.
2012 saw the Internet popularity contest Twitter lose many of its famous users. These celebrity departures resulted in a shameful number of people giving a shit.
Coffee is the second most valuable resource exported from poor and/or developing countries (Angelina Jolie's children being the first).
Hollywood dumps an entire summer's worth of wannabe blockbusters into December, so here are the movies you should probably avoid this month.
We're on to you, Will Smith ... you sly, sexy devil.
Some superheroes stand for truth and justice. Others stand for an incorporated product that's desperately and shamelessly targeting young children for their parents' money.
These projects each deserve their own double album of Steven Tyler's trademark imitation of a humpback whale's death knell.
Horror is the only genre of film that produces unapologetically terrible movies that people willingly go to see.
Who should also just be banned from the road in general.
Many of Grimm's fairy tales have been lightened up for modern children. However, some of them are beyond any hope, and should only be read to children you hate.
War is an incredibly complex, ever-changing topic, and understanding military history is both time-consuming and very, very hard work. So we're going to explain it in terms most anyone can understand: ex-girlfriends.
Time is tight. We get that. But if your job involves any form of gathering information to be consumed by bucketloads of people, you want to make sure that your Internet searches are performed with as much attention to detail as possible.
It turns out that James Bond was specifically designed to appeal to people enduring serious economic hardships, sort of like NASCAR.