Everything needs to measured: Even things you don't want to touch, smell, look at, think about or even exist on the same physical plane as. Thankfully, that's where Science steps in.

What's that? You don't typically associate the Happiest Place on Earth with crippling depression, rabies, discrimination and hate crimes? We can fix that!

Just like superheroes, words have origin stories, and we guarantee that these six are about a thousand times less shitty than Wolverine.