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Real Name: JF Sargent
Member Since: July 14th, 2010
About Me:
I am Cracked.com senior editor and columnist JF Sargent. Sometimes they call me "Josh" because that's what the J stands for. Other times they call me "Sarge" because "Sargent" is a badass name that I received due to a technicality. I am the only Cracked writer you can trust.
There's a line where a filmmaker goes from 'following the same formula' to 'remaking his own friggin' movie.'
We will give you money for your good ideas.
Professor Annmarie Chiarini, Anisha Vora, and Dr. Holly Jacobs have a few things in common: They've all had explicit photos of themselves shared online, and they've all decided to do something about it.
If your experience with bedbugs (which I sincerely hope you never have) is anything like mine and my wife's, here's what you have to look forward to.
Are we headed for another crash? Short answer, yes. Long answer? Yes.
It's freaky when actual animals turn into serial killers, stalking prey and evading capture in a way that makes the shark in 'Jaws' look like an incompetent asshole.
When we try to wrap our hunter-gatherer brains around concepts like student loan interest rates and year-end bonuses, it starts misfiring in all sorts of ridiculous ways.
In case the only video game twist ending you know is misspelling.
It's not like these people can just go out and lie right to our faces, right? They sure can!
If you want to terrify yourself, go into your medicine cabinet and read all of the really weird side effects at the bottom of the label.
You can try to learn from your mistakes so you don't make them again ... or spend millions of dollars on a vanity project to 'correct' things.
There's one big reason that every argument we have ends in a stalemate: Everyone is more interested in being a hero than in being right.
I've spent the last 30-ish years experimenting with every form of anxiety management known to man, and I've learned some things.
Soulless eyes. Twitching, insectoid mouthparts. Tiny Ewan McGregor face. All enough to make us not want to watch 'Beauty and the Beast' again.
There's a lot about the alt-right that scares me. It's the Nazi stuff, mostly.
This article spoils 'Alien: Covenant' because that movie has been out for a couple weeks now and this is a pop culture comedy website.
Making friends is only intimidating in your mind -- in action, it's as easy as boiling an egg or writing a radio-friendly late-90s rock song.
It turns out movies have been hiding their weirdest and most interesting work in places nobody ever bothered to check.
The whole message of 'Zootopia' goes to hell pretty quickly.
I just rewatched a bunch of Disney movies, and they're really trying to put sexy thoughts in our head at times when no one should have those thoughts there.
The script is different but the wording is always roughly the same.
Last Halloween we spooked you with a melange of real-life horror stories that had little explanation.
So after seven books, eight movies and a trip to Universal Studios, you think you would prefer to go to Hogwarts than live in real life.
Will Smith famously turned down the role of Neo in 'The Matrix', a decision that created the current timeline in which we live.
Do you find yourself getting irrationally mad when you're cut off by the car plastered in bumper stickers warning about the danger of contrails?
In a way, science-fiction has not only predicted the future but created it as well.
Why do we think Ned Flanders is so lame?
Two years ago we told you the tales of some of the most badass people lost to the annals of history.
Remember when memes actually made sense and weren't just screencaps of Minions with text like, 'Obama: You Only Had One Job!'
Most disaster movies make cannon fodder out of almost every single living person on the planet who isn't a president, a fighter pilot, or the one scientist who has the key to solving the alien/meteor/whatever problem.
The script is different but the wording is always roughly the same.
Last Halloween we spooked you with a melange of real-life horror stories that had little explanation.
So after seven books, eight movies and a trip to Universal Studios, you think you would prefer to go to Hogwarts than live in real life.
Will Smith famously turned down the role of Neo in 'The Matrix', a decision that created the current timeline in which we live.
Do you find yourself getting irrationally mad when you're cut off by the car plastered in bumper stickers warning about the danger of contrails?
In a way, science-fiction has not only predicted the future but created it as well.
Why do we think Ned Flanders is so lame?
Two years ago we told you the tales of some of the most badass people lost to the annals of history.
Remember when memes actually made sense and weren't just screencaps of Minions with text like, 'Obama: You Only Had One Job!'
Most disaster movies make cannon fodder out of almost every single living person on the planet who isn't a president, a fighter pilot, or the one scientist who has the key to solving the alien/meteor/whatever problem.
The script is different but the wording is always roughly the same.
Last Halloween we spooked you with a melange of real-life horror stories that had little explanation.
So after seven books, eight movies and a trip to Universal Studios, you think you would prefer to go to Hogwarts than live in real life.
Will Smith famously turned down the role of Neo in 'The Matrix', a decision that created the current timeline in which we live.
Do you find yourself getting irrationally mad when you're cut off by the car plastered in bumper stickers warning about the danger of contrails?
In a way, science-fiction has not only predicted the future but created it as well.
Why do we think Ned Flanders is so lame?
Two years ago we told you the tales of some of the most badass people lost to the annals of history.
Remember when memes actually made sense and weren't just screencaps of Minions with text like, 'Obama: You Only Had One Job!'
Most disaster movies make cannon fodder out of almost every single living person on the planet who isn't a president, a fighter pilot, or the one scientist who has the key to solving the alien/meteor/whatever problem.