Good news, everyone! The Plaza Hotel in New York has heard your vehement, rabid, horny calls for a 'Home Alone 2'-inspired getaway.

Through no fault of their own, funerals are some of the lamest parties ever thrown. And like any lame party, someone is bound to make it 10 times more awkward.

I would watch the Learning Channel for 5 days and, in the process, learn everything there is to know. About everything.

There are some love songs hidden away in the folds of the Billboard Top 40 that seem to be about the kind of love you have in an alley with the assistance of an ether soaked rag.

Thanks to a string of C-list celebrities and low budget websites, the idea of a home sex tape is now more reasonable than ever. Who would turn down a chance to hump on camera? Not me. Not you. Not anyone. But let this be a warning to you, some things do not belong on camera.

Apparently the side-effects stretch further than smug hippies. Shocking, we know.

In the wrong hands a sexy ad can turn into the stuff nightmares are made of. Not even sexy nightmares, either.

In order to get you the machine that functions at the level it does, the PC industry went through many, many horrible designs and ill-conceived products. So you can bitch about the cheap Gateway laptop you've been using for five years, but at least it's not any of these.

We know that the food we buy at the grocery store isn't made by a kindly old man on a farm. But apparently there are some downright soylent green-like horrors being produced by the food industry.