What Is Up With Trump's New Postmaster General?

Voting-by-mail is set to play a vital role in the 2020 election for millions of Americans who are either immuno-compromised or just don’t want to risk contracting COVID and then spreading disease because they happened to stand in the one polling booth operated by Steven, the snot-smearer. In fact, 77% of Americans, as of this writing, should be able to vote by mail in the fall.

It’s why a healthy United States Postal Service is so important to our democracy this year, and it’s also why Louis DeJoy heading the United States Postal Service is so troubling. You see, DeJoy is a major investor in USPS competitors like UPS and trucking company J.B. Hunt. Appointing DeJoy to be Postmaster General, as Trump did in early May, is like putting Sir Mix-a-Lot in charge of a task force to hunt down big-butted vampires. 

Continue Reading Below
Advertisement

He has a conflict of interest is what I’m saying, and it’s possible because of this conflict of interest that DeJoy may be hampering the United States Postal Service. For example, according to an internal memo published by the Washington Post, DeJoy said, "Mail carriers might temporarily allow mail left behind or mail on the workroom floor or docks."

Oh, how cute! Our mail is like that Otis Redding song, (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay. I wonder if that soulful mail singin' the blues is going to include our future stimulus checks or absentee ballots? 

Continue Reading Below
Advertisement

Probably, because Trump’s primary strategy to win the election now appears to be shit talking voting by mail. Today, Trump even threatened Nevada with a lawsuit after they passed a law to mail ballots to all active voters

Continue Reading Below
Advertisement
Continue Reading Below
Advertisement

According to FiveThirtyEight’s aggregate polling tracker, Trump is down by over eight percentage points. It basically means that if the election were held today, Trump would lose both the popular vote and the electoral vote in a landslide. Which is why his hopes and dreams seem to ride on the possibility of preventing people from voting, delaying the election, or getting someone to leave our ballots on a USPS floor like a pile of unwashed gym socks. 

Support Dan on Twitter and he will talk about his life with you in lieu of getting a therapist.

Top Image: Air Force, Pexels