These days, it seems like every celebrity, fitness model, and lifestyle guru wants to let you in on a revolutionary new essential oil, supplement, or sentient water that'll fix everything wrong with your body. (And lord, there is so very much wrong with it. Who trapped you in that meat prison, and for what crime?) But it's not just the obviously shady products you shouldn't trust. Even mainstream fads can be so phony that the products in question should be legally required to print "Step right up, folks!" on the box. For example ...
5
CBD Oil Isn't The Medical Wonder Sellers Are Claiming
Most folks' cannabis comprehension starts and ends with THC, the compound that makes food taste better and freshman philosophy sound interesting, and which turns you into the greatest Mario Kart player of all time. But now the hottest health craze is over cannabidiols (CBD), the other prominent compound in cannabis, which has been hailed as the greatest medical revolution since cocaine enemas.
If you read High Times, listen to Joe Rogan, or constantly see CBD advertising in your browser, you may be convinced that CBD is the second coming of medicine. And because CBD products don't contain THC, which is what makes weed illegal in most parts of the United States, you can safely consume these products wherever you want, treating both your general anxiety and your specific anxiety of being shot by cops for minor crimes.
The problem is that most CBD in the U.S. is consumed in the form of supplements, a market that's a few roaming covered wagons away from being the next snake oil industry. Not only do these pills often contain illegal THC runoff without disclosing it, but they also tend to house dangerously random levels of CBD potency and quantities. But if all they did was get you wasted, CBD would still be pretty swell. Except this largely untested product can react badly with actual medication like blood thinners, and this supposedly legal high is still considered a Schedule 1 drug by police whenever they feel like it.
4
Alkaline "Smart" Water Is No Different Than Dumb Regular Water
If you know someone who's really basic, they may be interested in becoming even more basic by drinking water spiked with alkaline. Millions of health-obsessed people swear by its boosted pH levels, which lower your body's acidity, give you more energy, help you lose weight, and even fight cancer. And whatever else you want it to do, because there's no proof that alkaline water makes your body amazing besides the fact that Beyonce drinks it.
While alkaline-infused water has been around since the '60s, it only became mainstream during the recent alkaline diet fad kicked off by former "alternative" doctor and current convict Robert O. Young. According to Young and his alkolytes, increasing the pH levels in the body causes one's metabolism to kick into the next gear, making us skinnier and healthier in the process. But real experts warn that these overpriced water bottles have no greater efficacy than plain old tap water, and that's because none of that extra base makes it into your system.
Hyrma/Adobe StockWhich is weird, since products that claim to kick up your metabolism are always so honest.