‘Simpsons’ Fans Think the Hawk Tuah Girl Is Experiencing Bart’s ‘I Didn’t Do It’ Arc

Unless you’ve been living under a rock with no Wi-Fi, chances are you’ve heard about the “Hawk Tuah Girl,” aka Haliey Welch, a previously-non-famous 21-year-old who went mega-viral for her memorable description of spitting on a dick during sex, in response to a question about the “one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time” in an Instagram video that would have been viewed by no one in a less stupid world. 

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Welch’s overnight fame was anything but surprising to Simpsons fans, who have pointed out that the Hawk Tuah Girl seems to be experiencing the exact same arc as the “I Didn’t Do It Boy”: Bart Simpson.

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It’s true, Bart’s rise to stardom in the Season Five episode “Bart Gets Famous” arguably parallels Welch’s story in a number of ways. 

For starters, both gained notoriety for a catchphrase completely by accident. The Hawk Tuah Girl was randomly stopped on the street and prompted to answer an insipid question, and Bart was roped into performing a sketch with Krusty the Clown at the last minute, only uttering his signature line after inadvertently destroying the set.

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In both cases, their viral stardom led to collaborations with famous musicians — Hawk Tuah Girl was invited to perform on stage with country singer Zach Bryan.

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While Bart recorded a quickie hip-hop album with MC Hammer. 

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And both Bart and Welch immediately lent their names to a bunch of merchandise. Welch collaborated with a brand that made at least $65,000 selling Hawk Tuah Girl-branded T-shirts and hats, including mock election apparel bearing the phrase “Hawk Tuah ‘24.” 

To be honest, her entering the presidential race at this point would be far from the worst thing to happen in the election season so far.

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And now Hawk Tuah Girl is reportedly getting her very own reality series, which is pretty much the 2024 equivalent of Bart’s hastily cobbled together autobiography, I Didn't Do It!, which, upon closer inspection, was mostly about Ross Perot, with some excerpts from the Oliver North trial.

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If The Simpsons is anything to go by, the Hawk Tuah Girl will be able to ride this wave of fame for a little while longer before America’s fickle attention span turns its back on her once novel appeal, just like how Bart’s catchphrase eventually grew stale, leading him to be cruelly tossed out of show business. 

That being said, the comparison certainly isn’t perfect, and it’s not impossible that the Hawk Tuah Girl will totally surprise us and parlay her fame into something more meaningful and long-lasting. But if she tries to show off that she’s more than a one-dimensional character on the Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend podcast, we’ll know that she’s doomed.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this).