Dan Duddy
The Trump presidency has always been an accelerated news cycle, but the way things are going, we'll be in World War IV by mid-October. I mean seriously, it was only two weeks ago that we were facing an entirely different sort of protest. Do you remember? They were the people who wanted the right to go outside and get their buttholes waxed. It was only two months ago that we were told a pandemic would almost certainly claim hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of American lives if we didn't take action. If you're able to, try to remember all the way back into January when the US and Iran were on the brink of a global conflict, as the US embassy in Baghdad was attacked by protesters. It feels like a distant memory, but that global conflict is still very much on the table. What I'm trying to say is, holy shit, we're going through historic events faster than some kid simming through a Sid Meier game.
Sid Meier's StarshipsIncidentally, the only person more obsessed than Donald Trump with putting their name on bullshit is Sid Meier.
I don't have much more to say about it other than to marvel at the sheer "what-the-fuck-itude" of it all. The past few months have been exhausting, and there's no sign of things letting up any time soon. If Back To The Future were made today then the entire movie would center around Doc Brown going back only weeks at a time to correct the various shitstorms of our current moment. Or maybe he'd just take a missile to the face from one of those Libyan terrorists and be done with it.
It's just all so damn much. Like, off the top of your head, do you remember what happened in 2011? Is that when Breaking Bad ended? I honestly don't remember. I'm sure there were major cultural events, but for the life of me, I can't recall anything before whatever insane headline occurred this morning. Oh, look, here's more potential conflict with Iran. I'm sure this will go well.
2020 will live in our memories for the rest of our lives, and the worst part of all is that with the election coming up in November, there's no way that any of this slows down. People were half-jokingly calling pre-quarantine "the before time." What now? Is that the "before before time"? Are we going to be five befores deep by election day? The tensions are only going to rise, and the news cycle is only going to accelerate. So buckle up, because while life right now might feel like taking a bubble-bath with Satan, in a couple of months, this might be considered "the good old days."
Support Dan on Twitter and he will talk about his life with you in lieu of getting a therapist. He also hosts The Bachelor Zone Podcast, where you can hear him give a sports-style breakdown of all things happening on The Bachelor.
Top Image: Rosa Pineda/Wiki Commons, Adoscam/Wiki Commons
