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A Harry Potter Bar Crawl Means Long Waits And Sad Chopstick "Wands"
The Hype:
For only $40, you can get hammered with thousands of other Harry Potter-loving lunatics across 16 different locations in the magical land of Raleigh, North Carolina. Get free swag like cauldron cups, complimentary butterbeer, and Goblet of Fire shots, plus a free Hogwarts scarf so you can really ensure that everyone around you knows you're a nerd!
The Reality:
Ticketholders waited up to two hours to get into just one of the bars, only to see other, normal customers walk right in without anyone checking (maybe they were doing the famous Jedi mind trick from the Potter movies?). As for the swag, the cauldrons were tiny plastic cups, the butterbeer consisted of 3 oz. samples, the free shots were some indeterminate liquid that tasted more like Kool-Aid, and the scarves were apparently hiding under a Cloak of Invisibility.
To make up for the missing scarves, organizer Zack Medford did offer something else: a chopstick dipped in wax, which kinda resembles a magic wand if you're eight years old and legally blind. Good thing they reportedly weren't checking IDs at the doors.
Matthew E./ Greatpotter.comThere are amateur Harry Potter porn parodies with more convincing props.
Unfortunately for Medford, some attendees didn't drink the magical Kool-Aid (the free drinks had run out by the time they got in) and took to the event's Facebook page to trash it. At this point, a "rogue employee" who was definitely not Medford began replying sarcastically to the complaints, all of which have magically vanished by now. Medford refused to refund any tickets, but promised the next crawl will be "bigger and better." Hopefully people will come back and get the full set of chopsticks.
5
"Real Life Mario Kart" Offers Filthy Costumes And Sadness
The Hype:
You know that off-brand Mario Kart go-karting company in Japan, MariCar? Yeah, it's pretty awesome. This isn't about that. This is a ripoff of the ripoff. But still, it's a fun concept, so people were excited when Australia's Mushroom Racing Go Karting released a dramatic trailer promising "the ultimate go-karting experience." A mere $73 got you a minimum of 20 laps on a go kart, costume rental, access to a "games room," a "DJ and after party," and even a totally appetizing "mushroom style burger."
Mushroom RacingThis explains how Mario stays his weight despite being on such a strict diet.