Cracked Archive - Sports

Nothing in the rule book that says a kangaroo can’t fight a full grown man

• By Eli Yudin
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• December 19, 2023

Even succeeding at these would be pointless. Failing is tragic

• By Ryan Menezes
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• December 15, 2023

Sir, I have to ask you to stop firing T-shirts into the jury box

• By Eli Yudin
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• November 16, 2023

Chess is fine, but the players don’t bleed enough

• By Eli Yudin
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• November 10, 2023

The only airballs here are the hilarious kind

• By Ian Garner
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• October 11, 2023

When the U.S. government and Federal Trade Commission is your best gym buddy

• By Ian Douglass
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• September 24, 2023

A professional athlete would face a serious suspension if they got caught taking any of these, but hey, John Q. Public, knock yourself out

• By Ian Douglass
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• September 17, 2023

Welcome to the rock that is the source of all rocks

• By Ryan Menezes
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• September 15, 2023

Shakira’s hips might not lie, by Suzanne Somers’ thighs do

• By Ian Douglass
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• September 10, 2023

No foot? No problem

• By Ryan Menezes
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• September 01, 2023

What happens when both teams want to lose?

• By Ryan Menezes
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• July 03, 2023

Here’s the plan: We take drugs and get really, really strong

• By Eli Yudin
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• June 28, 2023

Ah yes, it’s the Ken rule. We made that because of Ken

• By Ryan Menezes
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• June 02, 2023

There’s cheating, and there’s being as awful as humanity gets — something the 2000 Paralympics Spanish basketball team established a new low point for

• By Mike Rampton
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• May 25, 2023

Sure, they ‘had your back’ but I feel like scoring double the points of the rest of your team helped too.

• By Eli Yudin
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• May 12, 2023